A New Word, Brought To You From Jacob

Consanctuary:  The prefix "con" can mean against or contrary. "Sanctuary" means a place of safety. So consanctuary would mean "against safety."  Or, as we have come to use it, the opposite of sanity.

One day Jon and I were talking about crazy customers and Jon made the comment, "the insanity continues."  About 30 minutes later, something frustrating happened to Jacob and he said, "the consanctuary continues!"  So now, whenever anything aggravating or crazy happens we say, "Consanctuary!!" I think this new word makes complete sense and should go into the dictionary. If it doesn't, well, that's just consanctuary!

So Much Time...

It's amazing what I have time to do while not working this summer! Like go through my phone and find pics that I want to save and blog about! Craziness. These are all random and taken throughout the past 6 months.  Most of them have been posted on Facebook, but I wanted to save them here.

This was back in the winter, and Gonzo had just had a bath.  

We really mistreat our dogs around this house...

Cousins. Riding bikes. At Grammy's.  Happiness. 

One day this past spring the moon was supposedly aligned just right with the Earth so as to affect gravity, or some kind of scientific mumbo jumbo like that. Anyway, everyone else was doing this on Facebook, so we did too :)

Interior Design by The Boy.

One of my faves:  our dishwasher broke one night so I had to hand wash dishes. Jacob ran through while I was doing it and said, "Nice city, Mom." Obviously that is what I was really trying to accomplish. The world through a 7 year old boy's eyes...

Jacob LOVES his sisters.  No one can tell them they aren't his full sisters. In fact, just the other day we were at the bank and the teller asked me if he was my only child.  I said yes, and Jacob quickly corrected me, making it look like I had forgotten that I had 2 other kids. 

Maggie always crosses her legs. Just like a lady. Love her. 

 And this is how she sleeps...how does she breath??

Reading. With bed head. Love.

His first skid mark from his bike. He was really proud. 

Wanted me to take this pic and made Jon walk up there to see it.  

Beautiful.  That cheek is delicious to kiss by the way.

Last year the school started an AWESOME fundraiser.  The art teachers had all the kids draw pictures of "winter" and then, through a company, sent home order forms to parents that enabled us to buy products with the pics on them. You know, like Shutterfly or something, but a school thing. Brilliant in my opinion. Of course I loved it and bought many a Grandparents' Day gift. In addition, you could buy a tile that would be used to make this mural on the wall of the school. I know, right! Fabulous. Beats buying overpriced wrapping paper doesn't it?  Jacob's is the 2nd from the top on the first row from the right.

 2nd one down. The one with the glare. I took about ten pics and they all had a glare. The hall light was positioned just perfectly as to not allow me to get a clear pic of my son's. Oh well.

Do you see this?? It's sadness falling off a hanger, that's what this is.

And just in case you didn't quite understand the picture...

Little boy on a bike. Riding to school. More happiness.

I don't understand why whoever programmed my phone did it in a way that when I video something and am holding the phone the right way up, the video comes out sideways. Annoying. Sorry.

And One More Thing...

On the way to the campsite, I decided to make a master list of things to pack for future camping trips (note to self: add "don't mute phone, bring extra truck key, and listen to the first person who tells you the trail is confusing). When we got to the campsite, we drove around looking at the different sites to pick one out (this is how you pick a site, you find the one you want, put something there, then go to the main office to pay for it. Incidentally, that is how Jon almost got into a fight with someone on the previous trip, but I digress). Jon and I take this very seriously, perhaps too seriously, as there are a few things very important to each of us in a site.  For Jon, he wants to be surrounded by lots of pretty trees and close to the water, if there is water, like a lake.  For me, I want to be near the bathroom-just close enough so that I don't feel like I have to train to go pee, but not too close because it will have many people (possibly drunk ones) going in and out during the night; and also near the water so he and Jacob will be occupied so I can read in peace. (Stay with me, this is leading somewhere funny).  While we were looking at campsites (and discussing and looking and discussing and looking), Jacob got quite exasperated with us.  He grabbed the pad of paper I had been using to make the packing list, wrote/drew this, and showed it too me:

It says, "Come on, really?"  Well, without the punctuation. I had forgotten about it until now, a day after getting home, when I got the pad to type out the packing list. I tell him all the time he better be glad he is so cute...

Extras

I was going through Jon's phone the other day and found some pics he has taken lately that I wanted. So here they are:

This was while the rest of us were on the cruise and Jon watched Mom's dog, Charlie.  All three dogs slept with him at night.  Bet that was comfortable.

Jacob shooting outside. 

This one is actually from last summer when we went camping in the smokies (and nothing bad happened...) It's a funny one because it looks like a Big Foot picture.

At Jacob's recent track banquet.  I didn't know he had taken it. Cutie with a mohawk. 

The next ones are from Jon's bike rides on different trails.  I just think they are pretty. 

 A hollow tree that fell over.

 

Camping

We decided to go camping this weekend because the weather was nice and we found a state park that is close by (Natchez Trace-an hour and 45 minutes away) and supposed to be really nice. It was in fact really nice: it had a swimming beach, several playgrounds, hiking trails, paddle boats to rent, and on Saturday night they had a hayride and bonfire. However, it wouldn't be a Phillips family camping trip if something crazy didn't happen (last fall Jon and a random guy almost got into a fight, and the one before that we brought the wrong tent-one that was too small for all the people we had, there was a fire ban because it hadn't rained in a while so we couldn't build a fire, it was cold and we forgot to bring the tarp to put over the too small tent to keep the cold air out of the tent, and with us was one of Abby's friends who had never been camping. So you get the picture.  On this trip, several things happened: first, we went on a hike that was 3.5 miles long-according to the map. At the start of the trail we ran into a mom who said she and her kids got lost and had to call her grandmother who was at their site to pick them up. Whatever, we will be fine. While on the trail, about 2 miles in, we run into a father/adult son duo who also said they had gotten lost but were right again (they were going the opposite direction as us, so we didn't follow).  About 20 minutes after we pass them, we realize we are lost. Basically, this trail had close to no signs for directions and the map (which we had gotten at the park office along with all the other people) was completely inaccurate.  Worried about going any further, we decide to just turn around and go back the way we came since that would ensure a way out of this mess.  By this point we had walked almost the entire 3.5 miles and been gone 2 hours. No one to call. The grapes and water bottles we brought were depleted and we had a 7 year old with us. Fantastic.  As we were nearing the end, we ran into yet ANOTHER couple who had gotten lost the day before, went somewhere and printed off an actual CORRECT map off the internet, and showed us the discrepancies.  Basically, at the point where we got lost, it was because the two signs that we did see were not right. Oh, and the trail on the map from the office looks nothing like the actual trail-in fact it was missing almost 1/2 a mile. So what should have been a 3.5, 2 hour hike turned into a 7 mile, 4 hour hike. Great. Well, whatever, right? We made it. And thank goodness it wasn't too hot. Second: We get back to the campsite and Jon drops a HOT fire grate on his the top of his foot.  A golf ball INSTANTLY forms (seriously, you could practically see it growing) on his foot. We put an ice pack on it. Fine, whatever. Third:  That night, our last night there, we are starting to put things together to pack the next morning and Jon realizes he can't find his keys.  Okay, whatever, we will find them in the morning right?  Fourth: As we are going to bed, Jon's phone keeps beeping from incoming emails. Earlier in the day my phone had died so I checked my email on his.  My email gets a hundred emails a day, so his phone is going off every 5 minutes. I can't get it to log out or to stop doing notifications, so I just mute his phone. Without telling him.  Because I know he will say not to (because, God forbid we miss a call from the store and the Sonic empire will come crashing down right?) but by that point I have had it and just mute it.  At 3:30 a.m. Getwell gets robbed.  The alarm company calls the manager but he lost his phone earlier in the evening and doesn't answer.  The alarm company calls Jon whose wife muted his phone so he doesn't answer.  The alarm company calls me, but my phone is dead so I don't answer.  The alarm company calls Marshall, who apparently also muted his phone and he doesn't answer. So, the alarm company calls Ronnie Solberg, the big guy. Ronnie picks up and is the only one who goes to the store to handle the incident. At 4 a.m. in the morning. Great. By 6:00 when Jon wakes up and grabs his phone, he has missed 27 phone calls from the alarm company, Ronnie, and Marshall (who Ronnie managed to finally get a hold of). Even greater. He wakes Jacob and me and we figure we will find his keys while packing. We don't.  Luckily (haha) Jon drives an old truck and some random redneck camping nearby knew how to mess with the ignition to get it to start.  Fantastic. We drive home, stop by mom's to get her extra key, get to our house, see that she has given us some other key, and use a credit card to break in the back door. The End. Here are the pictures.

These are all from the hike. Before we realized we were lost.

 This is the underneath of a huge tree that had fallen over.

This is at the swim beach.  It was really nice, and I usually don't like lake swimming..

 It's like little boys smell each other. When we first got there, it was just Jacob and another boy his age.  By the time we left, there was this group.

 Building in the sand.

 I call this one "The Stud."

 "S+J"  Awwww...

Anyway, we really did have a nice time, despite all the crazy stuff.  :)

My Son, the Genius/Artist/Author

Each year that Jacob has been in school, starting with PreK, I saved all of his work all year long in a big expandable folder, and at the end of the year I go through and pick out my faves/pieces that represent him and his growth (wow that was a run-on, sorry Nicole).  So here are the winners from his first grade year:

I love this one. There is even a knight on a horse down in the corner.  So far, 2 free things have been made bearing this artwork: a free reusable grocery bag and a free sandwich keeper :)

"My sneakers.

  If I (had) red sneakers.  I would be an all star. 
for my abulliteas (abilities) and my Fasnes (fastness)."

"First Grade Portfolio

    My best work was my terckee (turkey).  Beacus (because) it is funny.  The last resin (reason) is it's fuzy."  A few comments about this: first, he actually used periods. Which is unusual as you will see later.  Second, he got the "it's" correct...I wonder if he knew that or the teacher helped?? And last, the turkey he is talking about is in the picture below this, and it is fuzzy!! :)

 "How I made my turkey.

First We got are (our) glue out.  Next We glud the threds on are turkey.  then I Red wow (read while) wating for dwrxshuns (directions).  last I glud the eie and legs."  There is a good chance this is my fave because he was told to write down the things he did to make a turkey.  And one of the things he did was read while waiting for directions. Love.

"If I could visit U-ranis

Hay do you want to hir (hear) a Funny sory? Well this is how it goes.  a very long time ago some peple wint to the Funny lookin plait (planet) its name was U-rasis  they stad (stayed) there for 2 oues (hours???) boy i wish i cuold visit U-ranis some day The End."   Isn't that a funny story? haha

"How to make a snowman.  First I git snow for my snowman.

Next I make it in a dig ball.  Then I mak a Nuther ball. last I make a small ball.  Decrate it with a black hat."

Can't you just tell how he is just throwing stuff down to get done with it? Such a boy.

"Jacob 14 (his number I guess)

  grps (grapes)

  Grps are my favorit  (e on the next line) snack.  they are good. It is helfe (healthy).  It is yum yum You can gro (grow) it."

"How to Cook a turkey.

FirSt I shoot a Turkey.  NeXt I gril (grill) a Turkey.  Then I eat the Turkey.  Last I git dsurt (get dessert).  hees ded (he's dead) WOW!"  That is just hilarious. 

The famous "Dirw Santu. (Dear Santa)

I just Wont the Joy of Crismus (Christmas)

Love

Jacob"  LOVE the drawing :)

 "If I had a 100 Dollers I would feel Greedy. 

first I would by a machon (mansion).  Next i would by a movie fater (theater).  last I would by cheeth (chief) costoom (costume).  Jacob" 

A couple comments.  Obviously the teacher wrote the beginning of that sentence on the board and told them to fill it in with a word.  Also obvious, Jacob doesn't understand that "greedy" is not a positive thing.  And finally, he has always said what I thought was "movie thater (long A sound)," kind of a country/hick way of saying theater.  It wasn't until I saw this that I realized he has been calling it a "fater" all this time and I never corrected him. The chief costume is a Halo costume-a game he plays on XBox.  I don't know what the big yellow rectangle is...

Some recurring themes: 
1)  Jacob does not really concern himself with correct punctuation most of the time.

 

2)  If you give the boy a picture to color, first he will complain.
But then he will color it rainbow style. Always has.

 3)  He has always been obsessed with time.  "Moma, how long until we get there?"  or "Moma, how long till fill-in-th-blank" have been common questions since he could talk practically.  And heaven forbid you tell him a time and then it takes longer. So it came as no surprise to me that he aced any and every activity that concerned time and clocks.  It's such a relief now that he can look at a clock and say, "30 minutes till bedtime."

4)  He loves math. Seriously. LOVES. He will just go around reciting math problems: "10 divided by 5 is 2. Did you know that?"  And they aren't even doing division. I looked all around for a math camp for him to go to this summer.  Apparently there is not a huge demand for camps where 1st & 2nd graders just sit around doing and talking about math.  But there should be.  With breaks for lego building and trampoline jumping.

**A NON recurring theme: a compliment on his penmanship.  And since this is in fact NOT nice penmanship, I am pretty sure his teacher was just trying to use positive reinforcement to get him to try harder.  She was slick like that. **Another theory we have that involves the slickness of his teacher:  Sometimes Jacob would come home and say, "I got my agenda book signed."  They have agenda books at their school that they use to write homework in, but there is also room for the teacher to write comments to  parents.  Anyway, sometimes I would look at the book and there would be something written about bad behavior.  But sometimes there wasn't anything.  By this time, though, he would have already confessed to something he did wrong that day.  And the teacher didn't even have to tell on him.  So our theory is when the kids would act up, she would say, "put your agenda book on my desk" with the intent on writing in it if the behavior got bad enough.  Meanwhile, the kid (Jacob) calmed down and starting behaving himself.  The kid, Jacob, just assumes though that the book as been written in by the teacher and dreads getting in trouble at home. Slick.  Now this is just a theory, I have never asked her, but I think it's pretty likely :)